LIGHT NOVEL
LIGHT NOVEL
— Tisli’s perspective —
“Ungh~~~… I’m hungry.”
From the passenger seat next to me, Alde gave a great stretch and muttered.
A few hours since we had left the posting town. At first, Alde had been excited by the Magic Vehicle’s speed, but apparently he had grown bored of it now.
So I said:
“You really are… like a child.”
“Oh? You mean charming like a child?”
“No one said anything of the sort. A grown-up’s body with a child’s intelligence—do you think that is charming?”
“It’s the spirit of an eternal boy, isn’t it? That’s a good thing.”
“It’s a thoroughgoing nuisance, that’s what it is.”
I sighed and looked out at the country path stretching on and on.
“But… it seems there will be no posting towns for a while; what shall we do?”
“Actually, I brought food along.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, so let’s take a little break and eat.”
“I see… let us do that, then.”
I, too, had grown a little tired from driving I was not yet used to. So I pulled the Magic Vehicle off the country path, drove it up to the base of a stand of scattered trees, and stopped there.
“Can we have a meal under these trees as well?”
“Yeah. Not like there’s much preparing to do.”
“No preparation needed, you say… what kind of meal is it?”
“While I was waiting for you at the royal castle, I made smoked meat in the basement kitchen. I brought that along.”
“You were being chased through the castle, were you not? And yet you found the leisure to do that.”
“Hey, what’s the harm? Thanks to your ring, I was safe anyway.”
“I-I see… well, in that case, that is fine, I suppose…”
“Why are you blushing?”
“I am not blushing!”
Honestly, Alde… suddenly saying something flattering like that—anyone would be flustered…!
I settled myself and climbed out of the Magic Vehicle. Alde followed.
Outside, a pleasant spring breeze blew, brushing through my hair. I took a deep breath in the grassland.
The Magic Vehicle was fast and comfortable to ride, but the slight stuffiness was a drawback. Well, that was no different from a carriage, but… there was room for improvement. Perhaps an open-and-close roof would be good. On clear days, you could feel the outside air.
While thinking such things, I sat down at the base of a tree, and Alde handed me a box containing the smoked meat.
“Here. Lord Alde’s hand-crafted smoked meat.”
“…Is this… actually edible?”
I knit my brow at the haphazardly packed smoked meat.
“What a rude thing to say. If you don’t want it, I’ll eat the whole thing myself.”
“Well… it does not appear to be poison, so I shall partake…”
The Ring of Guardianship (Improved) I had given Alde had been made in a pair, and I was wearing the other; since it had not detected poison, the meat must at least not be inedible.
While I was thinking this, Alde said:
“Don’t complain, just eat. It’s emergency rations, more or less.”
I took the box of smoked meat and asked:
“And—fork, knife, and plate?”
“There’s no such thing. Use your hands. Just grab it.”
Alde really did grab a piece of smoked meat with his bare hand and bring it straight to his mouth.
Watching that, I was floored.
“Wh-what savagery…”
“Savagery, she says… you ate that crêpe with your bare hands too, didn’t you?”
“That was the proper way to eat that food. But meat is different, is it not?”
“‘Different,’ she says…”
“This cannot possibly be the act of a human. As I suspected, Alde must be some sort of ape.”
“Listen—this is normal among commoners. Normal.”
“Truly?”
“Truly. Most commoners are farmers, you know? You think they eat lunch in the middle of all that heavy labor with a fork and knife?”
“Hm… that… I suppose that is true…”
I could not quite picture what farm work entailed, but at the very least it was an outdoor activity; in that case, eating with a fork and knife really was hard to imagine.
“Alde—commoners truly do eat with their hands?”
“Truly, I’m telling you.”
“In that case… since I am no longer the princess, it is only proper that I follow that custom, too—but…”
I sneaked a sidelong look at Alde, who was tearing into his smoked meat.
Alde turned a puzzled face on me.
“What? Still got more to complain about?”
“No… I have nothing to complain about, but…”
After all… doing something this ill-mannered in front of someone is embarrassing…
And for some reason, doing it in front of Alde especially makes me hesitant…!
So I rose smartly to my feet.
“What’s that, all of a sudden?”
“I shall be eating on the opposite side of this tree. Do not, under any circumstances, peek.”
“I’m not going to peek… it’s not a bath…”
The moment I heard the word ‘bath,’ the incident in the open-air bath came back to me, and I could feel my face go hot with shame.
“At any rate! Just do not peek, all right?!”
“All right, all right. The princess gets hung up on the strangest things…”
After having impressed it upon Alde, I bustled around to the opposite base of the tree and sat down.
And then, with my fingertips, I picked up a piece of smoked meat and brought it to my mouth.
“Alde… it is hard.”
When I lodged the complaint at Alde behind me, only his voice came back.
“Can’t be helped. I made it in a rush.”
“It’s also salty.”
“You have to put on lots of salt or it won’t keep.”
“In plain terms—it’s bad.”
“It’s preserved food, it can’t be helped!”
Even after munching it for a while, the smoked meat refused to soften.
“Haa… leaving the cooking to Alde was, as I thought, a mistake…”
“Given the situation, you should be praising me for even having food on hand!”
“Jarred food is more delicious than this.”
“Of course jarred food is more delicious?! It’s properly cooked!”
“At the next town, we shall buy a great deal of jarred food. My Magic Vehicle can carry it without trouble.”
“Yeah, yeah. Do that. Then I guess you don’t want any more smoked meat?”
As Alde said it, he came around the trunk; in a panic I scrambled to my feet and hid behind the tree.
“I told you not to peek?!”
“I wasn’t trying to peek… I just thought you’d stopped eating.”
“I’m eating! I’m hungry!”
“Then eat without complaining, geez…”
From the opposite side of the tree, I could hear Alde’s sigh.
…Did I, perhaps, say a little too much?
Truly, in this situation, having food preparations made—Alde, far from being at fault, had been quite quick-witted…
I lowered my gaze to the smoked meat and put a second piece in my mouth.
“W-well…”
And after munching for a while, I said:
“Alde isn’t a chef, after all; let us call procuring food in this manner sufficient.”
From behind the trunk, Alde’s voice came back.
“Yeah, yeah. Next time, have a proper chef make your preserved food.”
Though I had gone out of my way to praise him, Alde did not seem particularly happy about it.
My retainers would have wept with joy…
So, still feeling somehow dissatisfied, I continued:
“And it is not so awful that it cannot be eaten, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry it tastes bad.”
“If anything—the more you chew it, the more flavor it gives off, I think.”
“Well… it is smoked meat, so naturally.”
“Thinking ‘this is, after all, Alde’s cooking,’ I can manage to keep eating.”
“…Sure.”
“So—I am the one willingly eating it for you, you understand?”
“…………?”
“Hey, Alde, are you listening…?!”
When I swallowed the smoked meat and peeked at Alde, he had a piece of meat in his mouth and was looking up at me with a puzzled expression.
“You…”
“Wh-what?”
“Were you, by any chance, trying to praise me?”
“O-of course not!”
Th-this man…!
Why must he always, always say things with no delicacy whatsoever!
I ducked behind the trunk again, popped a third piece of smoked meat into my mouth, and let the hardness of it take all my anger!
(And that’s that.)
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