Side Story 5: Tisli’s Driving Lesson

— Tisli’s perspective —

Alde and I managed to reach the next posting town by sunset; there was a small shopping street, so we picked up the supplies and preserved food we would need for the journey.

Our clothing had been delivered from the royal capital’s clothing shop to the inn and loaded into the Magic Vehicle already, but other supplies, we had not prepared at all.

It rather felt as if we had absconded in the dead of night…

But we had already shaken off any pursuit, our magic was blocking tracking, and unless we caused a major disturbance, the palace’s people would not find us.

So all that remained was to enjoy this journey at our leisure—when…

“Hey, Tisli. Time to teach me to drive, isn’t it?”

A little after we had left the posting town, Alde, from the passenger seat, said as much.

“Indeed… having me do all the driving wears me out as well, so let us practice around here.”

The surroundings were, as ever, a plain with country paths stretching to the horizon, with no obstacles and no people around; so even if Alde made some mistake in his driving, there would be no real danger.

I pulled the Magic Vehicle off the country path, stopped it, and we exchanged seats.

In the driver’s seat, Alde said excitedly:

“Oh, finally, I get to drive! For some reason I’ve been dying to try this!”

“Have you? It is not, in particular, an enjoyable experience, I would have thought…”

“No, this kind of thing—it just tickles a man’s heart!”

“Is that so…”

Come to think of it, even among the knights there were plenty of men eager to take horses on long rides; perhaps men just liked vehicles.

In which case, perhaps tailoring the Magic Vehicle’s design and performance specifically to men’s tastes would help. It could be useful for sales promotion—let me remember that.

While I was thinking such things, Alde, his eyes shining, said:

“So, so! How do I make this thing move?!”

“Let us see… first, the pedal on the left, called the clutch…”

Heh heh… Alde seems to have completely forgotten…

That I failed to engage the clutch and he had a great laugh at my expense… I remember it very clearly, you understand?

This Magic Vehicle shall be made to stall spectacularly, and Alde shall be the one I mock!

—or so I had been thinking, but…

“O-oh, oh…! It moved?!”

Alde’s operation was unexpectedly careful, and the Magic Vehicle began to move slowly.

…Hmm… insolent, for an Alde…

“Once it starts moving, with your left hand, shift the gear over there into second.”

“Got it, like this!”

And Alde shifted gears with an oddly smooth motion. That, too, transitioned without trouble.

…Gh.

Th-this man… silly as he is, why is he able to drive so smoothly?!

I could teach him a false method to make him stall, but then I would be the one in the wrong…

I tutted internally, but Alde—entirely unaware of my mood—was in a state of great excitement as the Magic Vehicle picked up speed.

“This is awesome! Insanely fast! And it moves exactly the way I want it to, even at this speed?!”

“…You are a beginner, so you mustn’t get the speed up too much.”

“I know, I know! By the way, how fast can this thing go?!”

“Top speed is around one hundred kilometers per hour, I believe.”

“A hundred kilometers, how fast is that?!”

“Let us see… over ten times the speed of a two-horse carriage, perhaps.”

“That fast?! Amazing!”

While we talked like this, going around in circles in the area, Alde got thoroughly used to driving, and in the end, never caused a single stall.

“That’s probably enough for basic driving operations. Please stop the car.”

When I said so, Alde brought the Magic Vehicle smoothly to a stop, then turned a face flushed red with excitement toward me.

“That was incredible! Somehow, just incredible!!”

“…I see. I am glad to hear it.”

“…? What’s with that sour face, Tisli?”

“I-I am most certainly not in a sour mood.”

“Oh, I get it. You’re put out because I didn’t fail at driving, aren’t you?”

“Th-that is not so!”

“Speaking of which, you were sending the car jolting around. Yeah, sorry I couldn’t fail for you?”

“There is no need to apologize!!”

Gh… this man!

To tease me, super-genius beauty that I am!

This is the first time in my life I have ever endured such humiliation!

Well—I feel I endure humiliation from Alde every single time, but every time it feels as galling as if it were the first!!

So I said it—pushing down the emotions threatening to detonate within me!

“L-listen—driving in mere circles is something anyone can do, you understand?”

“The other day you were saying you needed a quick mind and good reflexes to be able to do it, weren’t you?”

“Th-that was… in order to master every driving technique, yes!”

“‘Every,’ you say… I don’t know how many driving techniques there are, but to run on this plain with nobody around, you don’t really need that kind of technique, do you?”

“No! I shall have you master every technique, Alde! Even maintaining top speed while overtaking the vehicle ahead and rounding spin-out curves!”

“Where are there vehicles ahead or spin-out curves around here?!”

“You will occasionally overtake a carriage! That is precisely when driving technique is needed!”

“For overtaking alone, you really don’t need that level of technique, I’d think…”

“Stop arguing and on to the next practice!”

With that, I chanted a spell in haste.

“S-Curve — Esci’Crubume!”

The S-curve magic I had come up with on the spot carved an S-shaped path into the earth, and went to work driving pole after pole—thunk thunk—along its edges.

Incidentally—those poles were pillars of lightning.

“There—get through this S-curve splendidly!”

“That’ll kill me?! What are those lightning pillars!”

“It’s fine. By the power of the magic, those lightning pillars will only electrocute the driver to death.”

“Then it will kill me?!”

“Just don’t touch them, then.”

“That’s ridiculous!”

Heh heh… yes, Alde must be like this—startled, writhing in panic, or he is no fun at all.

My mood improved, and I declared, triumphant:

“Can you not do it?”

“Of course I can’t?! Can you?!”

“Of course. In the dictionary of a super-genius beauty like myself, the word ‘impossible’ does not exist.”

“Oh? Then show me yourself.”

“…Pardon?”

The instant he said it, Alde was already getting out of the driver’s seat, walking around to the passenger side, and banging on the door.

“All right, hurry up, show me how it’s done. Then I’ll give it a try too.”

“N-no… that…”

“Wait, no way you’re going to say you can’t do it now, right? You’re a super-genius beauty, aren’t you?”

“Gh… of course I can!”

And so we exchanged seats; I took the steering wheel and moved the Magic Vehicle to the entrance of the S-curve.

“H-hey… Tisli.”

“What is it?”

“Couldn’t you at least turn off the lightning?”

“There is no need!”

“B-but…”

“Be quiet and watch!”

With that, I started the Magic Vehicle moving gently.

“H-hey… slowly… slowly is fine, all right…?!”

When the Magic Vehicle approached the curve, Alde was looking left, then back, repeating himself again and again.

“Heh heh, what is it, Alde? You aren’t even the one driving and you are this timid?”

“Of course! With lightning right there in front of me, anyone would be scared?!”

“You really do suit being a coward, don’t you, that’s al—”

ZAP!

“Ow?!”

A jolt like strong static electricity hit the steering wheel, and I let go of it without thinking.

The Magic Vehicle came to a stop in the middle of the curve.

“…………”

“…………”

An awkward silence settled in—

—well, awkward only on my side, perhaps.

I did not look in Alde’s direction, but I knew without looking that his eyes were very pointedly on me.

“You—that ‘electrocution’ thing was another bluff, wasn’t it.”

“…………”

“And on top of that you splendidly failed.”

“…………………………”

“Wasn’t it the super-genius beauty whose dictionary didn’t contain a certain word?”

Snap.

“What about Alde! You lost your nerve and ran?!”

“If someone tells me electrocution, of course I’d run?!”

“You are my bodyguard, you should be charging in with the resolve to die!”

“What kind of logic is that?! To begin with, am I not your man-repellent retainer?!”

And so the argument went on.

And in the end, we ended up competing over whose driving technique was better.

While we competed at the practice menus I came up with off the top of my head—tight S-bends, hill starts, parallel parking—the area around us grew completely dark.

So tonight, too, we had to fill our stomachs with flavorless preserved food, and drive through the night to the next town with eyes that begged to close… haa.

I was able to prove that my driving technique was the superior, so it relieved my displeasure, just a little, you know?

(And that’s that. To be continued in Volume 2!)

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